Redneck Jokes Humor and Satire
Wanna Go Hunting 
Saturday, April 5, 2008, 01:17 AM
Posted by Administrator
At the police station, Bubba explained to the police officer why his cousins shot him.

"Well," Bubba began, "We wuz havin' a good time drinking, when my cousin Ray picked up his shotgun and said, 'Hey, der ya fellows wanna go hunting?'"

"And then what happened?" the officer interrupted.

"From what I remember," Bubba said, "I stood up and said, 'Sure, I'm game.'"
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Redneck Farmer Want's A Divorce 
Friday, March 21, 2008, 07:47 PM
Posted by Administrator
A redneck farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, "May I help you?"

The farmer said, "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces."

The attorney said, "Well do you have any grounds?"

The farmer said, "Yea, I got about 140 acres." The attorney said, "No, you don't understand, do you have a case?"

The farmer said, "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere."

The attorney said, "No you don't understand, I mean do you have a grudge?"

The farmer said, "Yea I got a grudge, that's where I park my John Deere."

The attorney said, "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?"

The farmer said, "Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it to church on Sundays."

The exasperated attorney said, "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?"

The farmer said, "No sir, we both get up about 4:30."

Finally, the attorney says, "Okay, let me put it this way. WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?"

And the farmer says, "Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her."
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Redneck Hunters 
Friday, March 14, 2008, 01:15 AM
Posted by Administrator
Two Redneck hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting. They were quite successful in their venture, and bagged six big bulls. The pilot came back as arranged to pick them up.

They started loading their gear into the plane, including the six elk. But the pilot objected he said, "The plane can take out only four of your elk. You will have to leave two behind."

One of the hunters pushed forward, "Hey, last year our pilot let us take out six elk. It was the same model plane, same weather conditions, and everything. What's with this? We want you to allow us to fly out just like last year.

Reluctantly the pilot finally permitted them to put all six elk aboard and the men all climbed in with their gear. But when they attempted to take off and fly out of the valley, the little plane could not make it. They crashed in the wilderness.

Climbing out of the wreckage, one Redneck said to the other, "Do you know where we are?"

"I think so," replied the other Redneck. "Yep! I think this is about 100 yards further along than where we crashed last year!"
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Truck Driver Interview 
Friday, March 7, 2008, 02:23 AM
Posted by Administrator
Jim Bob and Luke went to a trucking company to apply for a "Team" truck driving job. The personnel manager decided, after talking to them both that they weren't the sharpest knives in the drawer. He decides to interview them separately.

He first interviews Jim Bob. After 15 minutes he completes the interview. Jim Bob barely passes.

Next he interviews Luke. He begins by asking the usual transportation related questions. Luke also barely passes.

The personnel manager next interviews them together.

He presents them with this potential problem: Now Jim Bob and Luke, lets say that you two are a driving team. One of you is driving the rig and the other is asleep in the back. You are going down this very steep hill with sixty thousand pounds of steel on the truck. All of a sudden your breaks go out and your speed is increasing. What would be the first thing you'd do?

About a minute passes and there was no answer. Then, all of a sudden Luke spoke up.

"I know, I know, I know the first thing I'd do". The personnel manager says "Yes Luke, what is the first thing you'd do?" Luke says, "I'd wake Jim Bob up." The personnel manager replies, "WHAT! "Why would wake Jim Bob up?"

Cus, says Luke, "He ain't never seen no big accident before!"
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Big Guy 
Monday, March 3, 2008, 07:40 PM
Posted by Administrator
There were two backwoods hillbillies living across the river from each other, who feuded constantly. Billy Bob hated Clarence with a passion and never passed up a chance to throw rocks across the river at Clarence. This went on for years until one day the Corps of Engineers came to build a bridge across that river. Billy Bob was elated; he told his wife that finally he was going to get the chance to cross over and whip Clarence.

He left the house and returned in a matter of minutes. His wife asked what was wrong, didn't he intend to go over the bridge and whip Clarence? He replied that he never had really seen Clarence up close and didn't realize his size until he started over the bridge and saw the sign: "CLEARANCE 8 FT 3 IN"
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Wrong Gun 
Friday, February 29, 2008, 01:19 AM
Posted by Administrator
Late one Friday afternoon, our friend Billy Hill went hunting for deer.

"Hey ma, grab me my huntin' gun! I'm going to get me some 'o those deers!"

Ma hands Billy a gun.

"Billy Bob Hill, now don't go doin' somethin' stupid like shootin' yerself in the eye with that there gun!"

"Ok Mama."

Five hours later, Billy comes home with his deer.

"Hey Mama, I got somethin' to tell ya!"

"Did ya shoot yerself in the eye?"

"No mama!"

"Then who'd ya shoot this time? It wasn't Joe from down the street was it? Cause ifin' it was, his daddy's gonna beat your butt an' I ain't gonna stop him!"

"No! I got the purdiest deer anybodys ever seen 'round these parts!"

"Let me take a look at that there deer, Billy!"

Mama Hill stares at the deer when Billy brings it in.

"Sure has a purdy coat, don't it Ma? Darn thing sure was hard to kill though! After I shot it a few dozen times, the darn thing still didn' wanna die! So's I got up and beat it with the butt'a my gun! Hey Ma, what kinda gun is that, anyways? It's got some funny colored bullets!"

"Oh, Billy, that ain't no huntin' gun! That's your pa's paintball gun!"
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